I'll scream for you

Peectures.

2008-06-25T22:01:00.003+02:00

Anja playing monkey for the camera.

A look at the Bärenschützklamm from above (this is only like the first ladder, though...)

A look at the Red Wall from the top of Oser.

The lake, the boats, the people.

This is a picture of what we walked downhill on today from the train station (zoomed in, of course).

Three Days in [Hell]

2008-06-25T18:41:00.003+02:00

Ok, I'm too lazy to make this any prettier than my Sportweek post, so you'll get a Day-by-Day for this, too.

Day 1: Up for a little walking?

On the first day, I woke up at around 7, got ready, packed the last few things into my suitcase and got on the computer one last time before I went to the train station. Once there, I took my train to Südbahnhof, got off, looked around for the stupid lion that wasn't there anymore (meeting point for our class), and once I found my group, I waited with them for the rest of the people who were coming.

Once everyone who needed to be there was there, we boarded the train, found our compartments, made ourselves comfortable and enjoyed the ride. After about 2 and 1/2 hours, we got off the first train in Bruck a. d. Mur and got onto the train going to Mixnitz, where our destiny awaited us in the form of steep mountains and ladders.

We got to Mixnitz and our luggage was given to Herr Unterberger, who was our host, and we went on our merry way.

In a nutshell: Our hiking trip lasted 4 and 1/2 hours, was very steep, exhausting and hurt like hell.

To explain it: We started walking up the mountain from Mixnitz, using the path in the woods. At first, everything was fine, I was walking pretty fast, talking and laughing with Nati, Pezi and Anja. After a while, people were passing me and I was getting farther and farther behind until I was the last person, barely breathing. Our homeroom teacher, Prof. Simon, had passed and was walking along with the others who were ahead of me, but the other teacher, who'd gone along with us because we couldn't go without a gym teacher, Prof. Primetzhofer, stayed behind, saying, "I will always be the last person in the group, so no one feels like the worst climber."

I spent that entire day in the back with her, because she helped me along and let me stop whenever I needed. After about an hour, we'd reached the entrance to the Bärenschützklamm, which is basically a mountain pass that you can only get through by walking up ladders built into the mountains on either side of it. Well, again, it started out fine, I paced myself with my breathing and walking and then --dun, dun, dun-- the ladders started. I swear, those ladders could kill people with weak hearts (I'm gonna post pictures of this in a separate post soon), but it was so pretty, because underneath everything were waterfalls shooting out of every crevice, so it was nice and cool and not too hot and not too stressful.

I won't describe the Klamm in detail, because nothing really spectacular happened. Anyway, once we got out of the Klamm (thank God!), we walked about 10-15 minutes until we got to a small hut called 'Zum Guten Hirten', where we got some drinks and stuff to eat to give us more energy for the next part of our hike. We stayed there for about 15 minutes, went to the bathroom, refilled water bottles, and rejuvenated ourselves.

The walk wasn't so bad, until we got to the main road which lead us to our motel-like-house. The main road was steep at times, and it was still hot, and there was no shade and we were already tired from the hiking and the ladders and the walk before, so, once we sighted to motel-thing, we were almost falling over with joy to be done with the walking.

After we rejuvenated ourselves a bit more, bought some drinks, relaxed a bit, we got our room numbers, our luggage and trudged upstairs to get ready for dinner. I showered first, got into some comfortable pyjamas, and Anja and I headed down to dinner. Dinner was great, really. First course was soup, a clear soup with what Austrans call a Knödel, which is basically a ball of bread. It was delicious, as most soups are (in my opinion). Next course was a salad (Anja didn't want hers, so she gave it to me) and then there was schnitzel and french fries. After dinner, there came dessert (chocolate and strawberry icecream, with whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles, waffle sticks and a sliced strawberry), which was also lovely.

After dinner, Pezi and I played Yahtzee, and then we both turned in for an early night.

Day 2: The "Oser"

Day 2 began with an alarm and much sleeping in. I got up at around 7:45, got dressed, brushed my teeth, pulled back my hair, put my contacts in, the whole morning shebang, and Anja and I headed down to breakfast. Breakfast was traditional Austrian: Bread, butter, cheese and lunchmeat/ marmalade, cocoa, coffee, tea. A nice breakfast, good outlook on the day.

That changed quickly.

We met down by the boys' house (there wasn't enough room for both girls and boys in the Anegrwirt) and there we started the long, excrutiating hike up the 'Oser', which is a very high mountain. At first, it wasn't so bad, it wasn't very steep, but it did go uphill. After about 10 minutes, we got to a meadow, with lots of cows, and it went steep uphill from there. I'll save you all from boring retellings of things that happened (although, you should know that the cows really like people...) and say that we got to the top of the mountain in about an hour and 15 minutes and once there, we signed the guestbook and went back down Oser on the other side.

I'm telling you...going downhill on such a steep mountain is NO fun whatsoever. By the time we finally reached the bottom of that freakin' mountain, our knees were ready to buckle. Then we went through another herd of cows (up close and waaay too personal) and then it was just road, road, road. We eventually made it to the lake, which we'd wanted to get to the entire day, and had a small meeting (where who would be, what we'd be doing, blah, blah, blah...) and were free to go swimming, rent a boat, take pictures, sunbathe, whatever we wanted.

So, I jumped in once, got the freezing cold shock (it was subzero temperatures in that lake, I swear), got out, sunbathed a bit (got burnt), and then climbed aboard Nati and Pezi's boat. Nati and I went swimming, Pezi and I pedalled a lot, the boys tried to jump on the boat, the boys got two boats of their own, kept pushing people out, letting them swim after the boats...It was fun.

After a while, we wanted ice cream (me, Nati and Pezi), so I got out of the boat while they got Huber out of the water (he'd fallen in and no one would let him back on, because he liked boat hopping) and I got the ice cream. When I got back out, it was hot as hell, so I walked over to a ramp leading into the lake and stuck a foot in. Unfortunately, there was moss and algae all over the ramp under the water, so I couldn't pick my foot up without falling onto the ramp and into the lake. After a lot of struggling, I ended up sliding right into the lake. Yea...not fun. There are rocks on the floor and I managed to hurt my knee x/.

Anyway, after a while, we had to bring the boat back and we were told it was time to go, anyway, because it was starting to cloud up and we didn't wanna get stuck in the rain, because we were taking the scenic route back to the Angerwirt. We gathered our people and again started to hike over meadows with cows, in forests and back to our temporary house. It actually did start to rain while we were outside, but it was refreshing and cool and not too bad, so it was nice.

Dinner was lovely, again. This time, the soup was clear with strips of noodle-like things, again a salad and for the main course, we had spaghetti with meat sauce. Dessert was a homemade strawberry roulade with whipped cream on top. After dinner, I got into the shower and into my pyjamas and played Hornochsen, which is a very fun game that I can't explain properly...haha.

After we finished Hornochsen, I brought all my games upstairs, packed my suitcase and then went back downstairs and spent the rest of the night talking with people. After that, I went to bed.

Day 3: And it's just downhill from here...

The morning of the third day was a bright one. Same breakfast (only different marmalade) and then we got our bags from upstairs, brought them to the parking lot, where Herr Unterberger packed them into his car and drove them down to the train station, and went on our way to the Red Wall.

After an hour of 'easy' walking, we made it to a small restaurant, much like the first day, and rejuvenated as we discussed how we'd cross the wall. We decided one group would go over it and the other under it. Simon went with my group under the wall and Primetzhofer went over it with the other group. I don't think either group had it any more difficlt than the other...but you never know. We had a few close calls, because the path we were on was barely two feet wide and there were plants all over the place and trees that had fallen and many other obstacles in the way. But we made it through in about 45 minutes and waited another 15 minutes for the other group to get to us so we could journey down the rest of the mountain.

That was fun, lemme tell you...-.-'

As if walking downhill wasn't bad enough, we walked down a steep hill, a steep wet hill, a steep, wet slippery hill. I fell once, needless to say, and I still can't pick things up with the palm of my left hand. We walked for about 2 hours until we got to the train station and then we had to wait for our train, get our luggage, get on the train, sit, ride it to the next station, switch trains, wait, find our reserved compartment, get on, get settled...and we weren't even in a nice compartment, either...no AC, just windows.

The train ride in itself wasn't too bad...and really, the aftermath of it all wasn't either. I'm home now, in my room, with my fan and eating my pizza...I'm good. I don't think I ever wanna do that again, though.

SummerSportWeek

2008-06-09T22:57:00.004+02:00

Well, it's been a long time since I updated, apparently, and I just got back from something exciting, so instead of boring you with details of whatever unimportant happened inbetween these last two posts, I'll tell you what happened on the SportWeek.

Day 0: The Big Wait-owsky

The day before the trip to Seeboden (the town where we were staying) I had to wait until around 11:30 at night to pack my suitcase, because the week before (Sun., 30th May-Sun.,1st June) my parents were in Spain. Originally, their flight was supposed to be back at around 6:10 pm and they should've been home at around 7 o'clock. Well, the weather decided to spazz after a week of sunshine, sweating and extreme temperatures, so it ended up being a hazard to fly and their flight got delayed.

So I waited.

Then, I found out they'd already started flying, but, since the weather had started getting worse and worse in Vienna, they had to land in Budapest. So, that flight got delayed a little bit (it was now past 8:30) and once they finally got back on a plane to Vienna, it was around 9 o'clock at night. The flight from Budapest to Vienna isn't long, and they landed about an hour later (10 o'clock). They would've been home by 11 if the busses had worked, if there hadn't been 12 other flights that had been delayed and that had taken up the baggage claim and if they could've caught the train on time.

Obviously, from my wording above, none of that happened. They had to sit in the plane on the runway for God only knows how long, waiting for the shuttle bus, which apparently doesn't work in the rain, then they had to wait for a veeeeeery long time at the baggage claim for their one bag, wait for the fast train and then walk home. All in all, that took about another hour and a half, so by the time they got home, it was already almost midnight.

I had to pack my stuff (it was all on my bed, having gotten it all ready before 6 so i could be done with it), get ready for bed and go to sleep, which, by that time, was very hard to do, seeing as I'd been awake for longer than I wanted to, and my inner clock was set on an all-nighter. So I didn't get to sleep until around 1:30am...bugger.

Day 1: Bus rides and first classes

The next day, I woke up at around 5am, half an hour earlier than I'd set my alarm for, and I stayed in bed for that whole time, waiting for the alarm to go off (because I'm partially OCD...I can't get out of bed until the alarm goes off) and when it finally does go off, I try and snuggle into my blankets, because, of course, once I have to get up, I get cold and don't want to.

But I did get up eventually (at around 5:05am, because I can't stay in bed longer than 6 minutes after the alarm goes off) and did my morning stuff, brushing the teeth, the hair, washing the face, putting the contacts in, getting dressed, packing up the last minute stuff...The works. At 5:30, I left the apartment to meet Nati at the bakery across the street and get breakfast and get taken to the school by her mom (before I left I said goodbye to my own mom, don't worry. I'm not that horrible...^.-)

After a short wait, a short drive and a short almost-accident (guy behind us didn't know how to read break signals, apparently...) we arrived at the school at 6am, among the very few others. We waited and waited and more and more people showed up, we talked, waited, talked some more, waited some more until finally at 6:30, the busses arrived and we started to get on.

The busses were split into classes. 5B and the first half of 5A was on one bus and 5C and the other half of 5A was on the other. I sat in the front with Pezi, on the other side of the aisle sat Anja and Nati, in front of them was Prof. Häckel, in front of me and Pezi was Prof. Zorro. Behind us sat Christoph (Huber) and Thomas (Bartholomay). Across the aisle from them were Michael (Greslehner) and Horst (Gfeller).

Not much to say about the bus ride...It was long, around 6 hours, we made one pit stop for about half an hour where Nati and I concluded that the Kindergarten class that was also stopping for a short break was more mature than the boys in our class were...

We finally arrived at the Gasthof (sort of like a B&B) at around 1 o'clock. We got our keys, went to our rooms, put our suitcases and things in them and went to lunch. After lunch, we went back to our rooms, unpacked, looked at the course schedules outside of our room (my room was in the foyer, right across from the door and right next to the pinboard with the schedules) and got ready for them.

I had my first dance lesson that afternoon (Volleyball from 8-9:30 in the morning, Dance from 4:30-6 in the afternoon) with Günther (our cute dance teacher). The first lesson went ok...It was kind of hard to keep up in the beginning, and the class in front of us (there were basically three rows with three classes...each class had a row..we were in the middle) kept backing up so we had no room to do anything...but in the end, it was fine. Günther has a really intense stare...it always feels like he's watching you.

Well, it did to me, at least.

After that class, we had dinner and not much happened after that...Well, except for the fact that Dietlind (another roommate) was gone until 10 (dinner ended at, like, 7) and Laura (a girl from a different room) stayed until 10...haha.

Day 2: Beach Volleyball and a long, long walk

The next morning I woke bright and early at 6am, (but didn't get out of bed until 7) and I skipped breakfast that morning because I found out I'd gotten my period and I didn't want another repeat of French...(in other words: I didn't wanna throw up again) so I skipped the morning meal and went down to the volleyball field with Janette and Veronika (actually, I went to the tennis court with both and Janette and I went to the volleyball field without Veri) and we got there a little later than we were supposed to, but not as late as Michi (Greslehner), Christoph (Huber) and Thomas (Bartholomay)...hehe.

Volleyball went by fast and soon enough, we were all jumping into the (huge and very, very cold) lake. Well, since it was so cold, I just went back to my room with Anja (she met me at the lake) even though I was supposed to be waiting for the Windsurfers to be done (that ended at 10:30, though) and then go swimming with Nati, Sasa (pronounced: Sasha, but Nati and I call him Zaza) and Flo...Needless to say, Anja and I got back to the room, rested for a little while and, once Pezi got home, went shopping for junk food and things to store in a cupboard...When we got back, Nati was there (and wet...I guess that's what happens when you surf...even if you have a wetsuit ^^) and we all waited for lunch together.

Nothing much happened at lunch, but after lunch we were all sent to our rooms to stay until 2 o'clock...or quarter to, depending on if you had a class or not. We had dance again, learned some more, it was fun, not much happened, to tell you the truth.

After dinner, we went on a walk around the small town of Seeboden and as we neared the top of a hill, which would take us to the main street, something happened down the line (I was pretty far up) that made everyone stop. (I didn't found out what had happened until yesterday...feel lucky). All that I knew was that apparently, some people thought I had something to do with something that was going on about 100 feet behind me. Anyway, whatever had happened stopped pretty soon and we were on our way again back home.

Day 3: It's a wet, wet world out there

Yet again, the next day I woke at the same time, got out of bed at the same time and did everything the same as the day before, only this time, i did wait for Nati, I went swimming with her, Flo, Sasa and after we got out and dried ourselves off a bit, we met some other people and went up to the volleyball field our school had rented out and started to play volleyball in the grass (and mud). Finally, some people left, Flo and Sasa started playing soccer and Nati, Bartho, Christoph, Gresi (Greslehner), two teachers and I started playing volleyball.

Lemme tell you...playing with teachers is reeeeeeeally fun.

After a while, we all headed back home and had lunch, rested, played with the volleyball in my room, played UNO, went to our afternoon courses, had dinner and recooperated. Not much really happened that day...

Day 4: The cogs in my mind go round and round...

The next day I complained of an ear ache and went to the doctor. He told me I couldn't play volleyball, but I could dance and if I had any complaints of a sore throat or anything, I should go back to him. Well, by the time dance came around, I had headaches and dizziness and I wasn't feeling well, so I stayed home that day. Not much happened that night, except that Nati and I switched from sitting with our roommates to sitting with Jacky, Flo and Sasa. Also, Anja complained that, since she had trouble with her lung, she didn't want to sleep in the bed next to me for fear of catching whatever I had...

That day, she turned into a made-up bitch...But only for the next few days.

Day 5: For shame, tis the last day...or second to last, at least

I didn't go to volleyball on day 5, but I did get up insanely early so I could have breakfast with Jacky and the guys...Then I went for a fairly long walk around the town and after that, the day went by fairly quickly.

But, of course, I forgot to mention that on day 4 (otherwise known as Thursday...), Zorro handed two sheets of paper out: One for a class soccer match and one a sign-up sheet for the disco that would be taking place on day 5 (or Friday, as we all say today...). Long story short: My class did not win the match, I was being badgered by lots of people to sign up to go dancing and I went to bed with a headache.

Back to day 5 (Friday...grr)...

The people going to the disco had to be in the hallway outside of my room by 8 o'clock, so they could catch the bus by 8:30 and be back by quarter to 12. I had been, of course, sitting in the very comfortable chairs outside of my room, playing UNO and chess and checkers and the gay austrian version of checkers called 'Dame (Dah-meh)' with Sasa and anyone else who would play. Before the crowd started rolling in to catch the bus, I met a really cool guy who was also almost 17, who was funny and awesome and who would be playing volleyball with us that night, because he also wasn't going to the disco.

I think I was mostly attracted to him because he was upright nice to me off the bat...He was open and I could relate to him...We went for a very short walk a little before we were to go play volleyball and found out that not only did I have a sister that was five years older than me and he had a brother that was five years older than him, but he has family in America, in New Jersey, and he was going to go see them this summer.

Oh, and of course, he said that it was a good thing my sister and his brother weren't getting married to each other. ^^

Anyway, that night was pretty dull aside from meeting Jakob and I won't bore you all with tales of poker, UNO and Harry Potter (I finished 2 books in 1 and a half days...I was trying to read HP7, but I just can't get myself through it...)

Day 6: The end of an era but the beginning of a new life

On the last day I didn't wanna miss volleyball, because it was the tournament, so I got up, got dressed, went to the field and bagged myself 4th place out of 8 two-player teams. No swimming that day, because I was still somewhat sick, but I did have a lot of fun waiting for lunch, because I got to spend time with Jakob again and we played 'Connect Four' against Laura and Rolland (Balc) and lost, miserably. Haha.

After that, we played with my very deflated volleyball, Laura's hacky sack, had lunch, talked about how he once won a pizza-eating contest in Toscana and went back outside. This is probably my favorite part, because I get to be agiddy school-girl every time I think about it:

Jakob and I had been playing with my volleyball, right? Well, while we played with my ball, Laura and Pezi played with Laura's brother's hacky sack. We somehow got into a 'fight' and started throwing the balls at each other. Well, at one point, Laura said the hacky sack was hers, I said the volleyball was mine and Jakob said that I was his (-insert girly scream here-).

Yea...

After that, nothing much happened except Jakob shot Laura's hacky sack into the hedge and we couldn't find it anymore, we all boarded the busses, and about an hour and a half later, we made the first 30 minute pit stop.

Let's just say I had another reason to be girly. I was sitting on a stone next to Benny, a fellow volleyball player, when Jakob and a few other kids came over to us. Jakob left the two girls he was talking to, came over to me, and started talking about America, sports teams, politics...It was great.

We all got on the busses, stopped after another hour for another 30 minute break and nothing extraordinary happened...We got home at around 7:15pm, Anja's mom drove me home and...I had dinner and stayed up for a little while. Nothing exciting happened after that...

Anyway, that was my week and I hope you enjoyed reading about it as much as I enjoyed living through it...^.-

--Cassy [[is all brooooown nooooow]]

I'm bored, no one's on, so I'll post!

2008-05-13T18:52:00.002+02:00

Yea...the title really says it all. Haha.

The only real news I have right now is that my mom bought me an mp3 player on Sunday...2 GB. Pretty nice. And because of that, I updated my music...Downloaded a tooooon of music from www.playlist.com and put everything into nice little folders and things so it's all ready for me to put onto the mp3 player. I swear, it took me the longest time ever to get all of those files...I had like 7 different CDs, then I downloaded 6 more, named a million nameless songs, etc., etc...

But now everything is really nice and orderly and neat. xDD

So I'm happy about that. Let's see, other news...Well, for the first time in my 16-year-old life I wore shirts voluntarily...For the past three days, actually. I think I'll wear them tomorrow, too. I just hope it'll be nice weather, because we're going on a field trip to a Monestary in the woods...Might get a bit cold.

My ear has been hurting me lately, too...My piercing, I mean. I think it might be infected again...I'll have to pop it soon. Sounds disgusting, is disgusting and I just ate, so I'll spare you all the gory details.

Oh! Big news: My computer is ACTUALLY my computer now. We just have to get a different wireless internet for it and it'll be set up in my room. Awesome much? I'll still be switching to a laptop sometime later...Practical. I can't take the desktop onto my bed, anyway ^.-

Actually, I probably could, but it'd be very annoying...haha. I just wonder if I'm getting the wireless keyboard and mouse, too. And the speakers...I know I'm not getting the scanner, thank God, I wouldn't have room for it...haha.

Mom and Dad are leaving for Spain on the 25th and I'll be staying with my friend, Anja, for that week...Only, not on Sunday, Monday or Friday. Sunday is superficial, I can stay home that night because it's too much work to bring my things to her house like that, and Monday I'm not going to be in school because I'm going to be helping a friend with her cosmetic exam. I'm just gonna go home after that and then bring my things to Anja's the next day after school. Then on Friday I'm staying at my house because it's the weekend and they'll be back on Sunday, anyway. That and I'll have to pack for the week after that one, because I'll be away on a summer sport week with the school that week. I leave at 7:00 in the morning on Monday. How cruel are they?! We have to be there by 6 freakin' 30...Not fun.

Anyway, I'll have to wash my clothes and repack and get everything I need and go shopping and get things ready and blah, blah, blah...So I'll be staying home that weekend. And I wanna be there when my parents get home, because that's always nice. ^^ I can't wait for those two weeks. 1 week with a friend and the next week with all of them. I'll probably be bunking with Pezi, Nati and Anja...So destructive and fun. Haha. I signed up for modern dance (thanks, An...) and beach volleyball (go Pezi!). The only reason I picked dance was because I wanted at least one course with Anja and we were told to pick on outside and one inside course...Well, I certainly hope we'll be dancing inside...haha. You can play beach volleyball inside, but it kinda defeats the purpose, don't you think?

My grades so far:

German - 3
Math - I don't know yet, I still have one more test to take...x/
French - 1
Latin - 3, but I'm doing a portfolio and I have a vocabulary test on Friday this week, so I'm probably gonna get a 2
Geography - I have no idea, actually, but I'm probably around 2/3...He hasn't said anything.
English - 1, duh ^^
Biology - I don't quite know...I have a test on Thursday this week and if I get a good grade on that, I'll probably have a 2...he hasn't said anything, either though so it might be a 3
Gym - 1
Music - I think a 1, but she hasn't said anything either
Art - 1 (that one I know...haha)
History - I'm pretty sure I have a 1, but it could be a 2...
Computer Science - 1 I'm absolutely sure about that one ^^

If you don't know how the austrian grading system works, it goes like this:

1 - A
2 - B
3 - C
4 - D
5 - F

Easy, no? In Germany, there's even a 6...dunno how they do it there, haha.

More music-related news...This afternoon I checked my email and I had an email from Poppy, my grandfather. Apparently, he was listening to a CD called "Cruisin'" by the Alley Cats that I'd given him when I moved to Austria. He liked it so much he wanted to thank me -- Now I want that CD back.

I got that CD in California...I remember it very well, because it was my favorite CD ever. The day I got it, I was at a county fair with a friend of mine and we saw the Alley Cats in concert...I'm telling you, those men...the best A Capella group ever. Anyway, we were part of the small crowd listening to them sing and all of a sudden, they started singing 'Love Potion #9' and they came into the audience and sang to me and my friend...It was so great. One of my favorite California memories...We both bought their CD and I listened to it every night...I'm definitely going to be burning that CD when I go back to America this October...if I remember, that is.

I can still remember what I liked about their group...The distinct noises they made only using their bodies...how they recreated noises you might hear in an actual band with instruments purely with their hands, teeth, feet and various other body parts. It amazed me...I loved it instantly and watching them was a treat for the eyes as well as for the ears. And yes, I'm aware of how stupid and cliché and corny that sounded...haha.

Just watching them perform was amazing, because you got to see how they made the band noises they made. It fascinated me then and it still does today. So I'm definitely going to be asking for that CD.

Anyway, I've rambled on for long enough now...

Ciao!

-- Cassy xD

Tag...You're it. x)

2008-04-18T17:17:00.002+02:00

What I was doing 10 years ago:

Well, I was 6 10 years ago, so...I was...in first grade in Parsippany, going to school, hanging out with kids from the complex, probably swimming in the deep end of the community pool so the cute lifeguard would come in...xD

Five things on my To Do List today:

Finish this list
Go for another walk
Post something with Ley
Find more music
Sort out some files

Snacks I enjoy (all junk!):

Ice cream
Soda
Chocolate (any girl's favorite...)
Marble cake
Peanut butter balls
Brownies
Cheesecake

I have to stop myself before I get too hungry...^^

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

I would buy my family a house in America, preferably close to Pottstown. I'd put half of my money away in a savings account for college, my later life, if I'm ever in trouble...that sort of thing. I'd probably buy a beach house somewhere sunny and invite all my friends to stay there and then fly them all out (depending on where they lived...haha). Then I'd...I'd buy a small cafe for my mom, so she could open her Multi-Lingual café (although I'm sure if I were a billionaire, she'd ask me why I was even bothering with that, cause she'd expect me to take care of her for the rest of her life...xP). And the rest (if there's any left...haha) I'd split in half and donate one half to diverse charities, while the other half I'd keep to myself to spend on whatever I need/want...OH. I'd probably buy backstage passes to a Good Charlotte concert...xD.

Five places I have visited:

America
England
Austria
Germany
Hungary

And many more. ^^

Five jobs I have had:

Student
Postal currier (or however you spell it...whatever)
I cleaned my house once a week for 20 Euros...that count?
Dog walker (BENJI)
Babysitter

Consider Yourself tagged if you read this and haven't filled it out yet!

I'm bored and I feel like posting, so...

2008-04-17T17:57:00.002+02:00

I'll post some lyrics to my favorite songs of the week. xD

I Should Mean More - JamisonParker

Face in your front door
The one you hide behind
You fight with bedroom eyes
While I proudly wear mine

The entrance that I make
Will fall so short of grand
A hopeful knock sounds tired
Before my hopeful plans

You put your hand in mine
It fits so perfectly
Your whispers between kisses
Show me all that I could be

Please make me not so crazy
Make me fall apart
Make me think beautiful and unexpected thoughts
I should mean more

I trace your every curve
On your precious face
And pray some day you'll beg me
To beg you run away

Please make me not so crazy
Make me fall apart
Make me think beautiful unexpectd thoughts
I should mean more

I should mean more
I should mean more
I should mean more.

Slow Suicide - JamisonParker

It's the night life
That gets them off
So desperately they wait for
The excuse of love

We live like vampires
And we, we, we love like killers
We all die like infants
And we trust like mirrors

It's the smoke and the drinks and the smiles that it brings
It's the pain and the sex disguised as innocence

Slow suicide, like it or not, it's what we do
Slow suicide, like it or not, it's what we do

It's the love of guilt that forms the habit
Of being dramatically overdramatic

We live like vampires
And we, we, we love like killers
We all die like infants
And we trust like mirrors

It's the smoke and the drinks and the smiles that it brings
It's the pain and the sex disguised as innocence
It's the smoke and the drinks and the smiles that it brings
(It's a desperate place for desperate people, to find their place before desperate heroes)
It's the pain and the sex disguised as innocence
(It's a desperate place for desperate people...so they sing)

Slow suicide, like it or not, it's what we do
Slow suicide, like it or not, it's what we do
Slow suicide, like it or not, it's what we do
Slow suicide, like it or not, it's what we do

The songs they sing are in the key of the illusion of pain and it's irony
In the midst of lust and dropping names, the drugs, they numb, and they keep us sane
The songs they sing are in the key of the illusion of pain and it's irony
In the midst of lust and dropping names, the drugs, they numb, and they keep us sane

Slow suicide, like it or not, it's what we do
Slow suicide, like it or not, it's what we do
Slow suicide, like it or not, it's what we do
Slow suicide, like it or not, it's what we do

Here's Everything I Always Meant to Say - JamisonParker

Just be in love
And I'll kiss you like
You've always wanted
Just close your eyes
I'll still live as if I'm dying

If I don't
Make your heart
Skip a beat
Then hate me.
If I don't
Make you feel
Anything
Then it's me.

I just want you to feel
Beautiful
For once in your life.
I just want you to feel
Beautiful
For once in your life.

Just close your eyes
And I'll kiss you like there's
No tomorrow

If I don't
Make your heart
Skip a beat
Then hate me.
If I don't
Make you feel
Anything
Then it's me.

I just want you to feel
Beautiful
For once in your life.
I just want you to feel
Beautiful
For once in your life.

So sleep now
So deep in static
Drifting in the shadows
Hold me close
To the fourwall headlights
And TV screens

I just want you to feel
Beautiful
For once in your life.

Sickness is a disease

2008-04-12T14:59:00.002+02:00

Ok, so, I know, this'll sound gross...haha. I got my period yesterday and everything was fine. I fell asleep, no cramps, no pain...nothing. Well, my period decided to fuck with me, so it woke me up at around 3:33 am to seriously blinding pains. I couldn't get to sleep, I was tossing and turning, it was sooooo uncomfortable...Well, at around 4:30, I couldn't take it anymore, so I rushed into the bathroom and spewed my guts out into the toilet.

All of that would've been fine. This has happened before...In fact, I had to be sent home from school twice because of it. But what really kills me is the fact that I had a sore throat and swollen tonsils (I still do, but I'm not upchucking now...) while I was throwing up. See, my throat was raw and scratchy and the acid from my stomach did nothing at all to help it and as for my tonsils being swollen? Let's just say that that all the little chunks didn't get out completely, so I had weird little chunks of God only knows what stuck in my throat. It tasted horrible and I couldn't get it out and it burned and made for one hell of a freaking awful night.

I eventually fell asleep, but now, since my mom heard me throwing up, I have to go to the obgyn to get checked out because I apparently have a high tolerance for pain, which my sister does not and since my cramps got so bad that I had to throw up because of them (which she never did) I now have to go get checked out. I'm dreading it. Ugh.

What I really hate about all of this is that in my family, I'm always the sick one. When I was a baby, I had pneumonia. Growing up, I was sick all the time. Flus, sneezing, allergies, coughing, infections, broken bones, lice, strep...The only things that ever happened to Phoebe was her brain operation and her asthma. Both pretty big things, but if you compare my lifetime of different illnesses to her two things...An operation and asthma don't seem like such a big deal. I had strep during her operation, by the way. My body didn't like the sick-attention she was getting. That's my theory, anyway.

In other news...I never posted this yesterday, because I was too lazy, but we started filming that movie. We filmed two scenes: One where the main character shoots the teacher and one where the teacher starts yelling at the main character because she's not working in class. Well, we filmed the shooting first. The extras were supposed to come out of the classes and watching the teacher and the girl talking and then, when she shoots him, we were supposed to run out of the room. Well, there were two problems with that:

1. There was a group of about 5 guys there who are idiots who didn't want to film all that much,

2. and the main character was using a real gun with no bullets, so all you could hear was a click and most of the time, we couldn't hear it and run away at the right time.

So we had to do it over and over again. But the guys made it even more difficult, because they had the bright idea to run and try to get through the closed glass door, at once. Well, one time, they all slammed into at the same time, one time, they made it through, but one guys dove under a small table and another fell on top of it and another guy had grabbed the trashcan on the way out...So you can see how trying it was to get them to get one good shot.

But we did and after that, we filmed the classroom scene...Which was also trying, but not as much. After that, we went home. It was an ok day...until I got my period, that is...

--Cassy [[is in paaaain]]

Tis the season to be...ha-ppy...? That works.

2008-04-10T22:17:00.005+02:00

Well, as you can see (or maybe you can't...who knows?) I've revamped my blog. The old pink/green/purple layout wasn't working for me...The colors didn't melt as well as this one. Blue is a good color. I probably would've used a different color, myself, but I like that particular blue swirly picture I used as my header background. Anyway, I think it looks good. I also added some links to the side bar with another one of my nifty names...that have nothing to do with each other...But whatever. Anyway, those are links to some of the blogs I like to check up on a lot...Mostly because it's family members, close friends and funny things. I highly recommend Cute With Chris and PostSecret...Some of the best blogs ever.

What else is new? Well, I got a C- on my Latin test (really, barely getting the C....one point less and it woulda been a D.). Needless to say, my teacher was less than thrilled. But I got a B on my vocabulary test, which she was happy about. So, I guess I did one good thing.

I got an A(+) on English, go figure. I was very surprised that I didn't have at least one thing wrong...One word spelled incorrectly, one grammar mistake...Nada. Zip. Zilch. Makes me wonder if she actually even looks at my tests....Hmm.

In German I got a D...surprise, surprise. So far, my grades in German have been F, C, D. All I need is a B on this next test to have a nice, well-rounded GPA. Right. But she's assigned us to write papers in pairs about people in Alma Mahler-Werfel's life...I have her late last husband, Fraz Werfel, with Michi Szalay, a funny boy in my class...I went through quite a process to get paired up with him, though...I originally had Alexander Zemlinsky (don't worry if none of these names sound familiar...I never heard of most of them, either), but then I switched with a girl who had Sigmund Freud (please tell me you've heard of him...). Two other girls had Sigmund Freud, neither of which I would've wanted to work with, but it just so happened that the best friend of one of the girls was working with Michi, even after she'd said she didn't want to work with him (we pulled pieces of paper from a box), so I switched with her and got stuck with Michi and Franz. Franz Werfel is one weeeeeeeird guy...But not as weird as Oskar Kokoschka, who had a life-sized doll made to look like Alma, his ex-lover and model, who aborted his child from her womb and wounded his sick and twisted pride. He took her to the theater, slept with her and eventually chopped her head off at a wild party. He called that "closure".

I call that "obsession".

Anyway, so now I have to write a paper with Michi, not to mention I have an oral report on Martin Luther King Jr. to prepare for the 29th...I still haven't read the whole book...I should probably start...Haha. But I've already written up the hand out, some quotes for the overhead projector and what I should probably say. I'll have to paraphrase that into something that can fit onto a notecard, though...And I've also marked the pages where I'll be reading out of the book. Probably more to come.

In addition to reading my own book, I also have to read 'Frühlingserwachen'...A book about sexuality in the 19th century. I swear, it's so funny reading everything, because it's so different from what we're used to reading in school. I can remember when she told us what the book was basically about..."This book...is about...pornography." Everyone laughed Now we have to read it out loud. No one's laughing anymore. Haha. Except me. But I always laugh...Whatever.

To some other wordly news (meaning no school, just life), I've been uncharacteristically happy for the past week or two and I know exactly why. xD It started with my own, personal "happy rain" and it escalated into conversations with Dib and that went on to more and more conversations and more happy rain and endorphins from gym class and then a nice, relaxing weekend with lots of conversations with everyone and Monday we had a free for all gym class, because our teacher wasn't there and I played badminton the whole time and I think I threw my arm out and then on Wednesday I read the best blog post on Myspace ever and another conversation with Dib followed and now I'm just elated and happy and floating and a survey helped too and I think I'm now the queen of run-on sentences. Ha, Ley. I beat you.

Another reason I'm happy is because I found cheap flights to America for October. October is going to be a great month. Not only is it because I'll be turning 17 soon, but because I get to go to America for a week and my sister's getting married on the 18th and I'm a bridesmaid. But I'm not too sure if that's a good thing yet. We'll see. Anyway, I'm psyched about the week before the week because I hope I can maybe spend a day with my friends...hopefully. I know it'll probably never happen...But hey, a girl can dream, right? And dream I do.

My MP3 player broke last thursday (that marred the endorphins from gym class a bit), but I got a new CD player and 7 blank CDs, so I can burn a lot of music on there...I just need to find the right combination of music.

I don't know what else to say except that my hair is turning blonde again and I have a monkey key chain on my belt loop and my palm has been slaughtered by a needle...My thumb has, too, though. The thumb looks worse, cause I peeled the skin right in the creases, so it looks like it was sliced open...ihehe. Oh! And my upper right arm hurts like hell because Nadine and I had a punching match today before Biology...and after...and in French...and on the subway...Haha.

So, now that I've said quite a bit more than I originally had in mind, I'll bid you all adieu.

--Cassy [[has a monkey on her pants and YOU DON'T]]

P.S. [[you suck cause you don't. xPP]]

P.P.S. I forgot to say wir filming tomorrow from 4-7 pm...xD

You know youre addicted to RPing when...Contin'd

2008-04-07T17:09:00.002+02:00

Anything new will be in italics

To understand this, you'll have to know some things:
I'm a roleplayer. I roleplay on proboards sites, mostly for harry potter and sky high...
This list is mostly only about me and my two roleplaying buddies, Lee and Ley.
Not everyone does this.
If you can say 'yes' to more than half of these, you're addicted...no matter who you are.
and lastly, this was made just for fun. ^^

You know you’re addicted to RPGing when…

-you constantly talk about your RPG characters as if they were real-you type things in UBBC codes

-you know what UBBC means

-you have inside jokes with your characters

-you spend your offline time waiting for people to post to your thread, even if you already know what'll happen

-you get shocked when it DOES happen

-your friends all think you’ve got a crush on a fellow RPGer because you spend so much time playing with them and then get offline and talk about them

-you spend hours making signatures and thinking about people to use as your character’s celebrity rep…even if you know you’ll never use them-you fall in love with a character

-you have multiple sites all based off of one ground site that are basically all the same, but with different twists and plots, just to see what would happen…

-when you type something in an IM and there’s something wrong with it, you search for the ‘modify’ button-you choose your character’s speech color according to their personality

-you cry when something bad happens to your character-your character represents you and everything you want to do, but can’t

-you know how to end a thread perfectly

-you get annoyed when people make a post with tons and tons of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes

-you know multiple HEX color codes by heart-you fight over who’s going to start the next thread-when you’re bored, you post a super long post about nothing at all

-if posting is going too slowly for you, you write the end of the thread and/or plot they way YOU want it to end

-when you can’t think of a plot, you take something you’ve been joking about with other RPGers…even if no one was really all too enthusiastic about it in the first place

-you can make something good out of that meaningless thread

-you name your posts, so people know who you posted as when you tell them

-you refer to past threads when you don’t remember something that happened

-the other RPGers know your password

-you can’t go a day without RPGing without going completely insaneand, last but not least…

-You let your characters take over your mind...so much so that you fear they will one day push YOU out.

-You're constantly running out of ideas for one site and revamping a dead one or making an entirely new site.

-You remember every site you were ever on...And what they used to be.

-It's not fun to post with yourself...and yet you find yourself in a twisted kind of relationship with yourself.

-YOU SPEND ALL YOUR TIME THINKING ABOUT HOW YOU WANT THINGS TO HAPPEN, BUT YOU NEVER WANT THE SITE TO END.

Long time, no write...

2008-03-01T23:44:00.003+01:00

Ok, so I've been neglecting my blog. Sue me.

I've had a lot to do lately...My friend, Anja, has been out of school for two weeks (three including the week off we had for semester break) and I've had to bring her her things so she wouldn't get behind on her schoolwork and I've been looking for a job...

Small update:

The movie part I was auditioning for? I didn't get a main role, but I definitely have a speaking part and I'm an Extra. It's not much, but it's a start, right? I mean, I really didn't expect t get a huge role the first time I ever auditioned for a film. That'd be just...surreal. Especially after my audition. Pezi and I decided to do a scene together...It didn't start out very well. We hadn't really discussed what we were going to do, so when we went in, we kind of just stared at each other for a while before I said something and she just looked at me weirdly. So, we had to break for a minute and make up a quick scene, which went pretty well. But it was dramatic at all and wasn't very good, either...

Basically, I played Pezi's daughter who didn't want to go to summer camp and we were fighting about it. End. So, yeah, the audition didn't start out well. I'll have to work on that.

Anyway...more updates.

I got a B on my french test, which is nice, and I really didn't do that badly on it, either. A few things were wrong, but other than that...French is really a pretty easy language. Je n'aime pas allemand, j'aime français.

I found a babysitting job and have already babysat once (8 hours and only 20 Euros...didn't really pay well, especially since I had to stay there until 1 am and no trains or trams were running anymore. I had to take the night bus. -.-')

But some good news is: We're getting a new student in our class on Monday and his name is Kevin. That's really all we kow about him, except that he's very tall...I guess we'll find out. Hell probably be sitting next to me, though...Our class has 26 students in it and each desk in the room has room for two people. There are 15 desks in the classroom. 13 of them are occupied, 2 with only one person. I am one of those two. I have a whole desk to myself, plus another desk added on to my own, leaving three spaces open next to me and then another girl has a desk to herself and a seat free, but that's in the very back. Kevin couldn't sit in the empty desk because our homeroom teacher doesn't want anyone sitting alone (the other girl and I both sit next to other people on the side where the seats aren't empty), so unless Kevin wants to sit next to a preppy little redhead who actually has a vanity table type desk, I'm getting a new neighbor. Joy?

More school news...Well, on Wednesdays in the first and second period we have art. Our class is too big for one room and one teacher, so, at the beginning of the school year, we split up into two groups. My group has a somewhat incompetent teacher, but she's really nice and motivated (if not a bit too enthusiastic and gullible). Anyway, the Wednesday before last she'd told us that we could bring a CD to listen to during the lessons if we wanted. Well, my group has four really bitchy people in it. All girls, all smokers, big drinkers...'party girls', if you will. And guess what they listen to. Club music->techno->shitty music. We all swore we were going to die. The music they brought...God, it made my eardrums hurt.

Thankfully, the teacher only allowed them to play it for 15 minutes. And thankfully, 90% of my group hates that music and likes the same kind. So this Wednesday, we're going to overpower them and listen to our music, which they, of course, hate. I'm talking Good Charlotte, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, The Killers, Red Hot Chili Peppers, etc., etc...It's going to be great. The only problem is, that, because one girl spoke her mind about the techno shit, she's getting crap from the four girls. That girl was Pezi...Anyway, now we have an all out war between the groups of girls in our class...Not only the four bitches are against me, Pezi, Nati, Anja and Diddl, but the bitches from the back row are, too. The only people who aren't fighting are Veri, Alina and Melisa in the front row and the guys...

Can anyone say awkward?

Onto other news.

I bought a new cell phone because my charger broke and I have to go dress hunting for the school ball on May 16th. Time's running out...I have no idea where to begin. Well, that's a lie. I know it'll be black. -smirks-

Alright, I can't think of anything else to say, so I'll end this post here before it gets too long...

Peace out, people!

--Cassy [[I am NEVER saying 'Peace out, people!' EVER again...]]

Can I just say ONE thing?

2008-02-14T20:07:00.002+01:00

I HATE PEOPLE.

I hate being around them, listening to them talk...grr. They annoy me so much. And they can never leave me alone because I hate them.

'You spend too much time alone in your room...', 'You need to socialize...', 'Why don't you go with a friend?'

I HAVE NO FRIENDS. I mean, ok, I DO, but I don't LIKE them.

Well...you know what I mean. I love my friends, all of them, I really do, I just like them...at a distance. I like being alone. I like staying in. I like watching movies by myself. I like working alone, reading, listening to music, playing games...ALONE.

The occasional outing with a friend is fun! Going to the Prater (viennese amusement park), the museum, walking around, going swimming...it's all well and good. But after a while, it's tiring and I get annoyed and I hate talking.

I love chatting on the computer. I love all things writing. Texting, IMing, writing notes in class...fine. Just...TALKING is annoying. My teachers are annoyed at me because I don't speak in class and when I do, they get even more annoyed because I'm so quiet. Lose/lose for me...

Anyway, this whole people rant is just because I went ice skating today in a very public and popular place and there were far too many people and I fell and busted my knee and then got stabbe din the same knee by some person's ice skate, so I'm really not feeling all that 'in' to people right now. Damn humans.

But I'm getting a hamster on Saturday xDDDDD

Because I'm forcing my parents to get me one. Haha. I love animals. I could be around only animals and be completely and totally happy. Seriously.

--Cassy [[<3's aminals!!]]

...I did it.

2008-01-26T19:58:00.000+01:00

...I have an audition. For a movie....

Not like a really big movie or anything, really just a school production movie, but it's for business management class and it's going to be shown in a theater.

It's a drama about a girl who's having trouble with school (go figure) and life in general and there's a dramatic ending and blah, blah, blah...

But anyway, I signed up for the audition and me and four of my friends are going to act out a scene (that I have yet to write). Our scene is gonna be two mothers, a 13 year old girl and a 17 year old boy, all fighting over the relationship between the two kids. I (mother of the 17 year old) am ok with the children's relationship and am arguing with the girl's mother (Petra) because she doesn't want her daughter going out with a guy who is 4 years older than her.

The kids come in and the girl starts yelling at her mother because she wants to be with the boy and the boy yells at his mother for getting involved in his private life. Finally, the teens run away and get found by a streetworker, who brings them back and everyone ends up crying, because the mothers ust wanted their children to be safe and I'm thinking the girl's mother will give in and let them be together.

So anyway, I have to pack all that up into 2 and a half minutes...Everyone has to speak and it's gotta be in german. Joy. I have a lot of work to do. Not to mention we have to rehearse it and the audition is on the 4th. So, I don't have much time...

Anyway, that's basically the only really big update I have...but I haven't written in a while, so I might as well make this post a bit longer.

I was talking to my mom today as we were walking across the street to the store about pets. Our dog, Benji, died on November 9th last year (he was put to sleep, something I still haven't gotten over...not even close) and part of the reason we had to do it was because he bit my stepdad's hand, but the other part was because when we left him alone during the day in our apartment, he would just continually bark and bark, which was upsetting the other residents of our building.

So, there's this doctor that lives right under us and apparently, Benji's barking was messing his home life up, because he was trying to sleep or something, which I can understand. Anyway, he was the biggest complainer of everyone. So today, as we were walking out of the courtyard and onto the street, we see his daughter walking a dog they had just gotten. Of course, neither my mother nor I can wait for it to start barking (and it will) so we can complain (aren't we just lovely)...

Anyway, back to the point. We saw the dog and of course, I, not being over losing Benji, said, "I want a pet." To which my mother responds, "Give me a couple of months. I don't want another pet just yet." We'd talked about another pet before and she'd said something about birds being the only pet she'd want, so I said, "But I don't want a bird." So she goes, "We don't have to get a bird. But I definitely don't want another dog, and I'm not really all that fond of cats..." So I replied, "What about a rabbit?" She gave me the standard, "I don't know, Chloe," answer and I said, "But I do not want a fish." She agreed and I said, "Maybe a hamster..." And she said, "We'll talk about it. Just give me a couple months."

So, I might be getting a bunny soon. xDD

I don't know if I told you all (I probably haven't), but I used to have 2 bunnies. My mom used to be a photographer for LifeTouch, the photo company, and she worked in one of their stores in the Oxford Valley Mall in Pennsylvania. Every once in a while, they'd have "Bunny Day", where people could get their pictures taken with a rabbit. Well, my mom's boss was already caring for four other rabbits, so she gave my mom two (all together there were 6 rabbits)-one for me and one for my sister, Phoebe. That was our Easter present. My bunnies were Easter Bunnies. xDD

Well, their names were Sammy and Alex. Phoebe's rabbit was Sammy, a cute, tame, tan dwarf rabbit who was as calm and gentle as could be. Mine was Alex, a black rabbit with a white spot on his nose and a white ring around his neck. He was the exact opposite of Sammy. He was wild, he thumped his back feet, he ran all over the place, he bit...No one really wanted him around.

But, I have to tell you...Aside from Benji, Alex was my favorite pet ever. The only real reason I think of Benji as number 1 is because I was more attached to him. I had him for 3 years, since he was a puppy, I spent nearly every day of those three years with him...I watched him die...

But Alex was so special to me, you have no idea.

Ok, to understand why Alex was special to me, you'd have to know me in person. But I'll try to clue you in. Ever since I was a little girl, I always loved animals. Like, way too much. I wanted to be a vet until I was 13 years old. The only reason I don't want to now is because I don't want to kill animals...Or hurt them in any way. But when I went to the vet with Benji, I always helped her. Anyway...I love animals. That's clear.

When I have a pet....I give them all of my love. I play with them, I pet them, I just plain love being around them. Not only that, but I talk to them. About everything. If I have a bad day, no matter what animal it is, I can tell them about it. I can't tell you how many times I hugged Benji, Sammy or Alex when I was sad. And it always, no matter what, made me feel better. That's probably why I hate people so much...

But when I said I talk to them, I meant it. I talk to them like real people and I really do believe they talk back in their own way. I dunno...I feel like I can read their minds. And they can understand what I'm saying. I don't know what it is, and I already know I'm crazy, thanks, but I believe it's true.

Alex, like I said before, was wild. Crazy. I mean, off the wall. Male rabbits get territorial. Alex was stronger and more determined, I guess, so he started hurting Sammy, just to show him who was boss, I think. Anyway, he bit a hole in Sammy's stomach. No one would go near him after that, but...I couldn't see the bad in Alex, even though he'd hurt Sammy. I still loved him, I didn't care if he was dangerous and I didn't care if my mother told me not go near him. I told her he wouldn't hurt me.

And he didn't. Never.

Eventually, we did have to give him away. We gave him to a colleague of my mom's, Dave, and I only ever saw him once after that.

And now comes the best part of my life. Dave let Alex run around his house freely. He didn't make him stay in a cage, like he was supposed to (he ended up having to replace a couple wires for his computer...Alex gnawed through them.), and because of that, he could never catch him. The one and only time I ever visited Dave's place to see Alex was the first and only time Alex was caught in that house. Dave and my mom were talking in the kitchen about him and when I walked in with Alex in my arms, they both stopped talking. It was so great. Alex was behaving, wasn't trying to bite me, wasn't trying to claw me and get out of my arms...I even had one paw on each side of my neck as if he were hugging me and all he did was lick my chin.

My mom later said she'd never seen anything like that being done with a wild animal like Alex.

About a month later, Mom got a call from Dave, telling her Alex had died. I was the last person to ever touch him.

I was proud. Proud that I knew Alex loved me. Proud that I knew I had had a real connection with that animal. Proud that I had proof that animals had souls and knew what they wanted. Proud that Alex had chosen me out of the many people in his life. Proud that God had chosen to give me the best kind of love I'd ever know.

I really do believe I have a special connection to all animals. I mean, it's not every day that cats come up to you on the street and jump into your arms...not every day you see a rabbit hugging a person...not every day you see a girl standing under a tree calling soothing things up to a cat as if it could understand what she were saying (and that for an hour straight)...

Or maybe it's just my love for animals that gives me the ability to think I have a connection with them.

I dunno. You tell me.

--Cassy [Misses Alex and Sammy]

15 ways to tell if someone is a teenager

2008-01-15T18:52:00.000+01:00

A person who can’t remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.
A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.
A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best friend on Wednesday.
Someone who can hear a song by Madonna played three blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.
A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can’t make a bed.
A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her history exam and 12 hours for her driver’s license.
A youngster who is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.
An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for miles, but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.
A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.
A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates her brother.
A person who is always late for dinner but always on time for a rock concert.
A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.
A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.
A boy who can sleep until noon on any Saturday when he suspects the lawn needs mowing.
An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.

RANDOM

2008-01-07T19:47:00.000+01:00

10 Random Things You Should Know About Me:

I walk the two and a half miles home from school instead of taking the tram because I love walking--and I secretly play out scenes in my mind so I can be prepared for when (and if) I ever become an actress.
I can't stand listening to people talk, that's why I always have my music up so loud--so I won't be able to hear if someone's speaking to me. Yes, I'm trying to be rude.
If I can hear even the slightest noise, I go crazy wishing it would stop.
I role play because it gives me the feeling of acting--I'm a different person, I look different and I can be someone you can love and hate.
I hate my personality. I'm way too sarcastic and I don't have feelings.
I love writing fictional stories about famous people and books and movies, but I've only ever finished one of my 100 stories. It was 15 pages and took me over 3 months to write it. I hate how it ended.
It seriously annoys me how Good Charlotte's music has changed so much in 12 years. It went from punk rock and saying something to pop gangster and dance music.
I applied to be a model in the mall when I was 12. I got a callback, but I had to move to Austria. I wish I'd never applied, because I've been asking myself 'What if?' for 4 years.
I secretly dream that my sister lives next to Eric and that she and her fiancé are friends with his parents, so when I visit her for a week in October this year for her wedding, I can at least spend some time with him.
I actually wish that I'll be 'discovered' before I turn 19 and have to go to school to study Pschology. I just find acting so much more fun...Even though Pschology is what I'll be picking for my schedule in two years.

This is depressing...

2008-01-05T18:50:00.000+01:00

Am I really that forgettable?

That makes me sad...

Everyone wants to be older, no one wants to get old.

2008-01-02T19:54:00.000+01:00

This was originally a topic assigned to me as homework in my german class to prep for a test. Well, I loved the topic so much that I've decided to share my opinions with you.

When you were a kid, didn't you always look at the older kids and go green with envy at all the cool things they could do? In Kindergarten, all you could do was paste macaroni onto a piece of paper and call it art while those 5th graders across the hall got to make ceramic bowls. In 6th grade you were taking Math while the 8th graders were taking Pre-Algebra and complaining about how hard it was to multiply fractions, while you were still learning what 'to the power of...' meant. When you were 17 and in your Junior year, you envied those Seniors so much, because they were graduating and being welcomed into the real world. You wanted to be older, admit it.

But once you actually hit your 'target age', whether it was 10, 18 or 21, you started to look back and wish you were a kid again, when everything was simpler. When a fight at school usually involved 10 minutes in the corner as opposed to 2 hours in the Detention room after school and a call home. When there was nap time and your mother made you lunch every day and no one could make fun of you because they all had the same. When it was cool to have a lunchbox with your favorite superhero on it and you had a cubby with your name above it.

You start to think about how you always wished you were older and what it was like to actually be older. You remember thinking it was so great to be thirteen, a real teenager, not a pre-teen anymore. You remember your sweet sixteen and how you felt so cool because you only had 2 more years until you were a legal adult, and only 5 until you could drink. If you had an older sibling, you remember resenting them for being older and knowing more and being able to do more things than you could. If they were younger, you remember being jealous that they could get away with everything and could still pull off the sweet, innocent look. You also remember thinking, cynically, perhaps, that you would enjoy it when they couldn't use that look anymore.

You might also remember that sometimes it felt like the older you got, the less it mattered. After all, once you reached 30, age didn't matter any more. 29 was still desirable, but 30 was horrible-and 31 was even worse. Maybe it felt like you wouldn't be as fun and spunky and happy as you were in your twenties. But that really depended on the person. You could look at other people and say, 'I bet they'd be the perfect 30 year old...' Ever seen '13 Going On 30'? Think of that.

But not only was being older depressing because you couldn't act like a kid anymore, but because you couldn't look like a kid anymore, either. You didn't look young, most people could probably guess your age if they looked hard enough and you were starting to get pains in your body that you'd never had before. And you were also probably paying a lot more attention to the televangelists when they talked about thier miracle cellucite stopping products or weightloss programs...Don't deny it, no one will think less of you.

But being old didn't always have a bad side. Maybe becoming a parent or a respected person in your line of work, that's something you could definitely not do as a kid. Finding that 'special someone' wasn't necessarily top priority anymore, but it was still in the top 5 and you could drink, which is always a plus. You could drive, see R rated movies, buy alcohol and get as many tattoos as you wanted-it didn't matter, it was your life and no one could stop you from living it.

You developed a political opinion and were able to vote, you watched the news and enjoyed it, you drank that coffee in the morning, just for an extra pick-me-up. You were able to stay up later and later, talking with people and complaining about taxes and bills and your job and the children acorss the street from you.

Ask yourself the question: Was growing up exactly what you expected it to be? Was it better? Was it worse? It can be anything, really, if you think about it. At some times, it can be absolutely amazing and at others, you wish you would've stayed in bed sick for the rest of your life. It makes no sense to evaluate your life and criticize it, because you can't change it. You've done what you've done and you can't go back...unless someone invents a time machine. Make your decisions in the wisest way possible and you might be able to have a halfway decent life. No one can tell you which road to take, but that doesn't mean they can't hope you'll take the one less chosen. But if everyone takes the path less chosen, wouldn't the other path look newer?

--Cassy [Being 16 is fuuuuuun]

Happy '08, everyone ^^

2008-01-01T13:31:00.000+01:00

Well...last night was interesting, to say the least.

Apparently, here in Austria, people like to use fireworks to celebrate the new year. They were going off all day (to be honest, all WEEK) and they still haven't stopped, even though it's already 1:30 in the afternoon. Haha.

Ok, so, yesterday, I was supposed to go swimming in a thermal pool in Oberlaa, in a hotel, right? It took us 45 minutes to get there, excluding how long we waited for each part of the ride (It took us about an hour, which is a long time to travel to get to a POOL, don't you think? 4 different means of transportation and waiting out in the freezing cold...hmmm). So, we get there and guess what: It's CLOSED. Nice. Haha. So, we're hungry, we didn't get to go swimming and we're an hour away from my house (she slept over)...So we get back in the tram, take the subway twice and get into a bus to go home. Well, after the bus stops at Pantucek (we took a bus that only went halfway because we were cold), we decide we don't want to wait, because it'll be there in ten minutes and it's cold. Haha. So we start walking and the bus never even passed us in the 20 or so minutes it took to walk.

We get to my street and were planning to go to McDonald's for dinner, but it's ALSO closed. Now, on any other holiday, this would be understandable, but wouldn't you think that on the one night where every person in Vienna is roaming the streets at least MCDONALDS would be open? Makes no sense. Anyway...we went back to my house, intent on dumping our swim stuff there and going to see if the pizza place was open, or the greek place, or the chinese place or any other olace on my street (there are a lot of places). And we decided that if all else failed, we'd go to the gas station up the road and get something there. We were hungry. Sue us. Haha.

We got home and my mom was there with her one friend, Daniela, who we thought were gone. They were supposed to meet my dad with another friend, Erika, sometime, but we didn't really know when. Anyway, they were making dinner, so we just stayed home (hey, it's free!).

This is where the story goes weird, because this is so very uncharacteristic of me it's scary. Earlier in the day, Mom and I had gone to Merkur to get some last minute shopping done for that night and while she was in the champagne section, I saw a strawberry-yogurt champagne with only 4.5% alcohol. So I said, 'Hey, it could be something good...' So we bought it. Well, come dinnertime, we broke open the bottle (only Anja and I would drink it) and it tasted pretty good. Haha. That's the first uncharacteristic thing. The next is that I actually had more than one glass. I think, out of .75 liters, I drank .50 of them. Haha. Anja didn't like it very much.

Anyway, I'd drank about half the bottle by 10 o'clock, so we decided to go for a walk and admire the noises (ROFL) and see what we could do, because at home, it was pretty boring with three older woman and music from the 20's that we didn't really like. So, we started out on the street behind my apartment complex and made our way back to Kaiserebersdorfer Straße, which runs parallel to Svetelsky and Simmeringer Hauptstraße and crosses Etrichstraße, which is where I live. So, we get there and then we decide we'll walk towards the church. Instead, we walk towards it but stop at the park, which is right next to a prison. We play for a while, minding the prisoner who's watching us. Anyway, soon some idiots come and start lighting some fireworks near us, so we go back home.

We stay in the apartment for a while until we get bored again and go back outside to watch the fireworks. Then we go back in and drink to the New Year and go back out again (once I finished off the bottle of champagne ^^) and watch the guy in the backyard shoot off his fireworks. We walk around a bit more and then go back inside and go to sleep while my parents and their friends go out for another drink.

All in all, the most eventful New Years since we lived in Pottstown, even without the flashing green glasses.

--Cassy [Prosit 2008!]

Oh, to be bored...and cold.

2007-12-29T14:19:00.000+01:00

To say I'm bored would be to point out that Albert Einstein had white hair...And now that I'm talking about Albert, I have a nice little quote for you: (actually, I have a couple ^^)

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result." -A. E.

"A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new." - A. E.

"A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?" - A. E.

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." - A. E.

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage- to move in the opposite direction." - A. E.

"Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school." - A. E.

"Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized." - A. E.

"Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts." - A. E.

"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - A. E.

"Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism - how passionately I hate them!" - A. E.

And there are my quotes. As you can see, the bold ones are more important, but the last is the most important. Because it's absolutely true.

Now, a rant on the war:

First of all, I have to say I don't understand it. Not in the 'I don't understand what killing more and more people and having people killed in return will bring us in the end' (I'll come to that later), but I don't understand why there is a war at all. I mean, I can understand that our nation was mad after 9/11, but that's no reason to start a full out war. I've heard it has somethign to do with oil and prices and whatnot, but I don't exactly know the story on that.

Aside from not understanding what broke this war out, I don't understand why people can't just talk things out. Are the world leaders really that hot-tempered and prone to outbreaks of violence and harsh words? Wouldn't it be easier if one man's pride was wounded in a battle of words instead of millions of men being killed in combat, turning into 'just another name on a plaque'? And what of the families of those brave soldiers? They lost sons and daughters...Do they count for nothing? Is it 'enough' to send them the personal effects of their late husbands, brothers, sons and friends? Don't they deserve more than a speech given by an indifferent person, someone who doesn't know the boys he talks about?

Does anyone ever think about how those soldiers must have felt the day they got their assignments? The day they got shipped out, being torn away from their families, knowing that they might not come back to see them? Or how it felt the moment before they died? Were they scared? Proud? Angry? Happy to finally be free of killing people, sometimes even innocent people, to be rid of the sound of mortar flying and bombs going off, of machine guns being fired and the screams of pain and anguish as they hear their 'enemy' being slowly destroyed?

How about what they feel when they're off duty? Do they resent being told they were to fight for their country? And what country is left for them to fight for? America has become nothing more than a sadistic place; the price of everythign is skyrocketing, it's becoming filled with immigrants from different countries, being thought of as 'the Land of Opportunity'. But what opportunities does America give those poor people in want of help? An opportunity to work illegally and be downtrodden by the government? The opportunity to work 17 hours a day in a thankless job with even more thankless pay? The opportunity to go home to a small shack that just barely fits their needs and purposes, to go home to their family, empty handed and sorry?

America is idolized as something close to riches and fame. America is like a promise of success and happiness, but once you get there, all you are is just another person who's in the unemployment line, waiting for the next check to come, so you can just barely scrape by. No one cares where you came from or what you need....it's a man-eat-man world in America and everyone has to fend for themself.

You might get lucky, if you have a special talent that just can't go unnoticed any longer...but only if you're in the right place at the right time, or if you have connections or really powerful ambition.

What happened to 'land of the brave' and 'home of the free'? We aren't free anymore, America. We're all trapped in our own country and we're suffering. Things are breaking apart. Civilizations are being destroyed. The dreams and hopes of little children are now completely different than they were around 10-15 years ago. Now, instead of wanting to be President or and astronaut, children want to be actresses and models, rock stars and multi-millionaires.

Girls minds have always been warped to think that whatever is in the media must be good. They try to conform, try to be like the people in the magazines or on TV. And when they don't achieve their goals, they break down and decide they aren't good enough to be anything. They turn to anorexia and bulemia, drugs and alcohol-anything to make them more desirable. They turn to the wrong people-people who don't help them, but harm them. And in the end where do they all end up? In a place they hate, somewhere they never wanted and they ask themselves, "Where did I go wrong?"

There used to be an American Dream. There used to be inspiration in the colors red, white and blue. There used to be a time when I would wake up and think, "I love America." A time where I could be patriotic as hell and have a good reason to be. Now the only reason I love America is becuase it's where I was born. It's where my family and friends are...and because of it's history. What happened in the past attracts me to America most of all, because I love the idea of how we got started: Breakign away from the British Government and forming our own, independent country. How we all united to form the 50 (then only 13) states of America. How we signed the treaty.

The Declaration of Independence. Once the foundation of our country, now just a piece of paper with a bunch of signatures on it. The Liberty Bell, once a symbol of freedom, now just an old noisemaker with a crack in it. The Statue of Liberty, once a symbol of hope and freedom for all who looked upon it, now a big green statue that's fun to use as a lookout on the ocean. And finally, the dollar. "In God We Trust". With each of it's individual presidents it once was a currency that we were proud of, but it was yet another sign of independence. Now? Now it's just something we need more and more of, something we never want to give up, because without it, our lives are meaningless, because without it, we can't live.

Is this really the rolemodel for a bunch of 'third world' countries? Is this really what they want to be? Or are they all living in the past that I love so much, the past where everything was really patriotic and we tried our hardest to be content with just what we had and nothing more?

It actually hurts to see what this world is turning into. What America is turning into.

What happened to freedom and justice for all? Why can't we be who we want to be, do what we want to do, say what we want to say? Why is it wrong for a woman to love a woman or a man to love a man? Why is it wrong to have two people of the same sex marry each other? Why does the government think it's right to ban the sanctity of marriage from the homosexual population? Are they harming anyone by getting married? Are they personally hurting George Bush by getting married? Is it right for the Government to actually try and ban love? Something no one can control? Is the Government actually trying to play God? Because if it is, it's doing a horrible job.

--Cassy [misses red, white and blue]

Hold up, wait a minute, put a little love in it...

2007-12-28T15:36:00.000+01:00

I've come to the conclusion (oh no, another one...^^) that Eric and I tell each other way too many things. Haha.

Whenever we're on MSN, we talk about what we're doing and that usually leads tosome interesting conversation about the colors of our socks, what we do with legos and where we sit in movie theaters...hehe.

Oh, and how we think the other would look if we took pictures of ourselves on our phones in front of a mirror (I had to laugh at the thought of Eric doing that with his fedora...it'd just look way too weird with him)...

But aaaaaanyway.

I'm kinda bored...and have nothing else to do and Alex emailed me (xD I dedicate this blog to Alex, haha) so I decided to post. Only now I don't know what to post anymore...So I'll enlighten you all (ha, you all when I have a total of 1 readers..^^) with something I wrote up a week ago.

To understand this, you'll have to know some things:

I'm a roleplayer. I roleplay on proboards sites, mostly for harry potter and sky high...
This list is mostly only about me and my two roleplaying buddies, Lee and Ley.
Not everyone does this.
If you can say 'yes' to more than half of these, you're addicted...no matter who you are.
and lastly, this was made just for fun. ^^

You know you’re addicted to RPGing when…

-you constantly talk about your RPG characters as if they were real
-you type things in UBBC codes
-you know what UBBC means
-you have inside jokes with your characters
-you spend your offline time waiting for people to post to your thread, even if you already know what'll happen
-you get shocked when it DOES happen
-your friends all think you’ve got a crush on a fellow RPGer because you spend so much time playing with them and then get offline and talk about them
-you spend hours making signatures and thinking about people to use as your character’s celebrity rep…even if you know you’ll never use them
-you fall in love with a character
-you have multiple sites all based off of one ground site that are basically all the same, but with different twists and plots, just to see what would happen…
-when you type something in an IM and there’s something wrong with it, you search for the ‘modify’ button
-you choose your character’s speech color according to their personality
-you cry when something bad happens to your character
-your character represents you and everything you want to do, but can’t
-you know how to end a thread perfectly
-you get annoyed when people make a post with tons and tons of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes
-you know multiple HEX color codes by heart
-you fight over who’s going to start the next thread
-when you’re bored, you post a super long post about nothing at all
-if posting is going too slowly for you, you write the end of the thread and/or plot they way YOU want it to end
-when you can’t think of a plot, you take something you’ve been joking about with other RPGers…even if no one was really all too enthusiastic about it in the first place
-you can make something good out of that meaningless thread
-you name your posts, so people know who you posted as when you tell them
-you refer to past threads when you don’t remember something that happened
-the other RPGers know your password
-you can’t go a day without RPGing without going completely insane
and, last but not least…

-YOU SPEND ALL YOUR TIME THINKING ABOUT HOW YOU WANT THINGS TO HAPPEN, BUT YOU NEVER WANT THE SITE TO END.

--Cassy [<3's>

Merry Christmas, everyone ^.-

2007-12-25T10:57:00.000+01:00

Just because I'm really bored and have nothing else to do (-cough-Thanks, Anja-cough- ^^), I'll enlighten you all with what I got for Christmas (her it comes...xP)

Well, from Brett and Alison, I got three DVDs and two bottles of (awesome) nail polish. Clueless (haha, already had it...), Mean Girls (<3)>

From Mom, I got a pair of awesome 'sweat'pants and a white shirt (with strings...I love strings...>.<) and cool chinese symbols on the breast with red behind them. Then I got my beautiful cross (I picked it out ^^), which I am also wearing (not wearing the shirt, though), another necklace, a ring and earrings (all black...haha), none of which I am wearing at the moment, a pack of Uno cards (I've been bugging her for a while about them...haha) and then this morning we did the stockings (in Austria, it's custom to open presents on Christmas Eve...-shrug-) and I got a mountain of candy (we now have a HUGE bowl in the kitchen full of candy..haha), a labello (chapstick/lipgloss), a gel candle and three pink rose smelling candles. There would've been a toothbrush, too, but she lost them..haha.

From Dad I got a Logitech camera, which is now all set up and ready to go (-wink wink-).

From Pezi (a girl from school), I got a cuuuute Christmas cup with a sheep that says 'Christmas is stupid without you' and then it has a bunch of pictures of things and little red arrows pointing to them, saying: 'Stars: stupid', 'me: stupid', and so on...I have another one of those that i got for my birthday from Anja, which is the regular one and has everyday thigns like trees, beetles, flowers and things that are stupid and it says, 'Everything is stupid without you'. I guess you can tell I love that product...^^

From Nati (Nadine, another girl from school), I got a black velvet tea candle holder, which now holds one of the pink rose sented candles from Mom.

From Anja (I'm getting it today, but I already picked it out xP), I'm getting the movie 'Alexander' with Colin Farrell and Jared Leto (I think we all know WHY I wanted it now...^.-).

From Dietlind, I got a cute white notepad with silver drops all over it and a keychain that says, "If you can't be a good influence, then you'll have to be a terrible warning." (I loved that)

From Natasha, I got some pretty black hoops, that unfortunately kind of infected my earholes (I think I'm allergic to any metal that's not sterling silver or gold...), but they're nice to look at, all the same ^^.

From Anna, I got a cute plushy mouse keychain.

From Isi I got a little charm to put on my phone, but since my phone doesn't have a place to do that, I put it on my keychain ^^.

And from Isabella, I got a handmade candle, white with pink swirls and multi-colored rhinestones. All in all, a pretty good Christmas ^^

So, now that you've read my (long, haha) entry about my gifts, what didyou get?

^.-

--Cassy [ho, ho, ho]

Acting

2007-12-22T15:28:00.000+01:00

I guess it was last month...towards the end of November...that I started thinking about my choice of career. I mean, I love the thought of Psychology and it'd be awesome to do it and everything...I mean, just the studying sounds exciting to me, but there's this nagging little voice in the back of my head that keeps saying 'You want to be in a movie'. I mean, sure, I suppose every child wants to be famous when they're young...and some of them even make it onto the big screen...but I never was cut out for it.

The one time I was in a professional play (if you can call a church performance 'professional') was when I was 7 (I think...) and I couldn't sing during the whole damn thing because I had a cold. I was standing there on the stage, flapping my arms along to the movements I'd learned and hackign my brains out every five seconds while my partner was trying to sing...I finished the play, sure (I -unfortunately- still have the videotape from that night...horrible memory, really...), but It was really bad acting.

Then, another performance was when I was 11 and in the 6th grade. Instead of assigning oral reports, our language arts teacher decided to have a play instead. I didn't hack this time -thank GOD-, but I couldn't laugh and fall out of my chair...I was too embarassed. But I did end up having to sign karaoke in front of the entire 6th grade...mortifying. Seriously, I can't sing and I don't know why people insist on telling me that I can...I recored songs sometimes, and I sound awful on every one of them...

But anyway, back to the point...

I do love acting. It's fun, you can be someone you're not, you get to wear awesome costumes, and best of all: you meet a lot of amazing people. I mean...I watch the extras of DVDs all the time, and on most of them, there's a section called 'Behind the Scenes of so and so'. I watch them all and hear how people talk about their time on set and see what happens in the camera down-time...and I'm amazed. It all looks so fun and cool and family-like.

I have a huge family and I absolutely love it. I love my cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, in-laws...everyone. I love the get-togethers, the holidays, the stories, jokes, the all-around good times we all have together. And being on set with a bunch of people you have to work with...that's like one huge, everlasting family get-together to me. I mean, really. You get to work with the people you hang out with. What could be better?

And, I confess, there are celebrities I'd love to work with...Jared Leto, Bruce Willis, Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, Steven Strait, Kelly Preston, Juliette Binoche, Judi Dench...all amazing actors and actresses and I'd love the experience of working with them. I guess I'd just have to start acting somewhere and get discovered. Right...I'll tell you if anything like that comes up, shall I?

-.-'

--Cassy

First post...whoo.../Some thoughts...

2007-12-19T21:40:00.000+01:00

Well, I can guarantee you that I will not write in this everyday...It's just not something I do. For some reason, I can never keep writing in a diary, online blog, bulletin...whatever. I must've tried like a million times already, but I've never gotten very far. In fact, the farthest I've ever gotten with something like that is probably the diary Phoebe (my sister) bought me 2 (3?) years ago in King of Prussia...It's a pretty journal, red velvet material bind, lined pages, brown and cute. Plain, which I like. I should...I picked it out ^^

Anyway, I wrote in that journal for a long time...I kept bringing it back, and I know exactly where it is, but writing really hurts my hand, so I like typing better...Only nothing interesting ever happens in my life, so I never have anything to write about...and most of the things I want to write end up being too vulgar for other people to see ^.-

I dunno...

Anyway, since I've titled this post already, I guess I shoudl tell you what it's about...haha. I have a friend (best friend, you could say...you could, you don't have to...rofl) and this friend, Eric, is his name, likes to share his playlist with me...Well, he gave me this awesome, sick song...('Fer Sure'-The Medic Droid--check it out!!) and ever since I got into the song (I listen to songs over and over and over, burning them into my head...I'm weird like that), I've been asking myself what my family would think of me if they ever heard it (it's not a family song...trust me, you wouldn't want your kids listening to this stuff...).

I mean, I haven't seen my family in a couple of years. I've seen my grandparents every summer, but it's not the same...I mean, around my family I'm a completely different person. My parents have to live with me, so of course they know things my friends might not know about me, but my friends probably know other things my parents don't, because, all in all, they do spend more time with me, with school and all...and my family knows me as a COMPLETELY different person.

I mean, they knew me as a small child...They know embarrassing stories, cute little nicknames, they have pictures and memories and attributes....It's not pretty...haha. Around my family, I can be just about anything. I can be good, I can be bad (seldom, but it happens), I can be mischievous, mature, childish, ignorant, indifferent, enthusiastic...They know the really deep stuff...The history, my natural hair color (ihehe, ^.-) and, if you know my history with staying in one place for a longer period of time, they know how it's affected me.

I mean...if my friends and my family were to ever be in one place at the same time with me...I'd have an emotional breakdown...I wouldn't know how to act. I'd like to say I can be the same around my family as I would be around my friends, but the truth of it all is that I can't. Not even close. I'm totally different around my friends. I mean, I listen to obscene bands my family would definitely not like (i.e. The Medic Droid, anything Bloodhound Gang, Marilyn Manson, Three Days Grace, Anberlin, Papa Roach, Panic!atD, MEST, Envy on the Coast, J. Holiday, 30 Seconds to Mars...the list goes on), I want a tattoo and some piercings (although, my grandma said she'd love me even after I self-mutilated myself ^.-), I've dyed my hair black (it's now brown, fading back to blonde xP), not to mention I'm one of the pickiest eaters I know...I hate steak, most pork, turkey, goose, lamb, beef...basically anything except chicken and certain kinds of white meat, I won't eat fish (although I have, just because I wouldn't dare tell my aunt I don't want to eat a meal of hers...-yikes!-)

Well...I have to go now...I have to sleep sometime (for those of you new to the likes of me: I live in Austria [NOT AUSTRALIA!!!] and, from the East Coast of America, I am 6 hours different. (GMT +1) and it's 10 o'clock at night...and Ley just left D-'X

Rofl

--Cassy [or Chloe...it really couldn't matter less...]