...I did it.

...I have an audition. For a movie....

Not like a really big movie or anything, really just a school production movie, but it's for business management class and it's going to be shown in a theater.

It's a drama about a girl who's having trouble with school (go figure) and life in general and there's a dramatic ending and blah, blah, blah...

But anyway, I signed up for the audition and me and four of my friends are going to act out a scene (that I have yet to write). Our scene is gonna be two mothers, a 13 year old girl and a 17 year old boy, all fighting over the relationship between the two kids. I (mother of the 17 year old) am ok with the children's relationship and am arguing with the girl's mother (Petra) because she doesn't want her daughter going out with a guy who is 4 years older than her.

The kids come in and the girl starts yelling at her mother because she wants to be with the boy and the boy yells at his mother for getting involved in his private life. Finally, the teens run away and get found by a streetworker, who brings them back and everyone ends up crying, because the mothers ust wanted their children to be safe and I'm thinking the girl's mother will give in and let them be together.

So anyway, I have to pack all that up into 2 and a half minutes...Everyone has to speak and it's gotta be in german. Joy. I have a lot of work to do. Not to mention we have to rehearse it and the audition is on the 4th. So, I don't have much time...

Anyway, that's basically the only really big update I have...but I haven't written in a while, so I might as well make this post a bit longer.

I was talking to my mom today as we were walking across the street to the store about pets. Our dog, Benji, died on November 9th last year (he was put to sleep, something I still haven't gotten over...not even close) and part of the reason we had to do it was because he bit my stepdad's hand, but the other part was because when we left him alone during the day in our apartment, he would just continually bark and bark, which was upsetting the other residents of our building.

So, there's this doctor that lives right under us and apparently, Benji's barking was messing his home life up, because he was trying to sleep or something, which I can understand. Anyway, he was the biggest complainer of everyone. So today, as we were walking out of the courtyard and onto the street, we see his daughter walking a dog they had just gotten. Of course, neither my mother nor I can wait for it to start barking (and it will) so we can complain (aren't we just lovely)...

Anyway, back to the point. We saw the dog and of course, I, not being over losing Benji, said, "I want a pet." To which my mother responds, "Give me a couple of months. I don't want another pet just yet." We'd talked about another pet before and she'd said something about birds being the only pet she'd want, so I said, "But I don't want a bird." So she goes, "We don't have to get a bird. But I definitely don't want another dog, and I'm not really all that fond of cats..." So I replied, "What about a rabbit?" She gave me the standard, "I don't know, Chloe," answer and I said, "But I do not want a fish." She agreed and I said, "Maybe a hamster..." And she said, "We'll talk about it. Just give me a couple months."

So, I might be getting a bunny soon. xDD

I don't know if I told you all (I probably haven't), but I used to have 2 bunnies. My mom used to be a photographer for LifeTouch, the photo company, and she worked in one of their stores in the Oxford Valley Mall in Pennsylvania. Every once in a while, they'd have "Bunny Day", where people could get their pictures taken with a rabbit. Well, my mom's boss was already caring for four other rabbits, so she gave my mom two (all together there were 6 rabbits)-one for me and one for my sister, Phoebe. That was our Easter present. My bunnies were Easter Bunnies. xDD

Well, their names were Sammy and Alex. Phoebe's rabbit was Sammy, a cute, tame, tan dwarf rabbit who was as calm and gentle as could be. Mine was Alex, a black rabbit with a white spot on his nose and a white ring around his neck. He was the exact opposite of Sammy. He was wild, he thumped his back feet, he ran all over the place, he bit...No one really wanted him around.

But, I have to tell you...Aside from Benji, Alex was my favorite pet ever. The only real reason I think of Benji as number 1 is because I was more attached to him. I had him for 3 years, since he was a puppy, I spent nearly every day of those three years with him...I watched him die...

But Alex was so special to me, you have no idea.

Ok, to understand why Alex was special to me, you'd have to know me in person. But I'll try to clue you in. Ever since I was a little girl, I always loved animals. Like, way too much. I wanted to be a vet until I was 13 years old. The only reason I don't want to now is because I don't want to kill animals...Or hurt them in any way. But when I went to the vet with Benji, I always helped her. Anyway...I love animals. That's clear.

When I have a pet....I give them all of my love. I play with them, I pet them, I just plain love being around them. Not only that, but I talk to them. About everything. If I have a bad day, no matter what animal it is, I can tell them about it. I can't tell you how many times I hugged Benji, Sammy or Alex when I was sad. And it always, no matter what, made me feel better. That's probably why I hate people so much...

But when I said I talk to them, I meant it. I talk to them like real people and I really do believe they talk back in their own way. I dunno...I feel like I can read their minds. And they can understand what I'm saying. I don't know what it is, and I already know I'm crazy, thanks, but I believe it's true.

Alex, like I said before, was wild. Crazy. I mean, off the wall. Male rabbits get territorial. Alex was stronger and more determined, I guess, so he started hurting Sammy, just to show him who was boss, I think. Anyway, he bit a hole in Sammy's stomach. No one would go near him after that, but...I couldn't see the bad in Alex, even though he'd hurt Sammy. I still loved him, I didn't care if he was dangerous and I didn't care if my mother told me not go near him. I told her he wouldn't hurt me.

And he didn't. Never.

Eventually, we did have to give him away. We gave him to a colleague of my mom's, Dave, and I only ever saw him once after that.

And now comes the best part of my life. Dave let Alex run around his house freely. He didn't make him stay in a cage, like he was supposed to (he ended up having to replace a couple wires for his computer...Alex gnawed through them.), and because of that, he could never catch him. The one and only time I ever visited Dave's place to see Alex was the first and only time Alex was caught in that house. Dave and my mom were talking in the kitchen about him and when I walked in with Alex in my arms, they both stopped talking. It was so great. Alex was behaving, wasn't trying to bite me, wasn't trying to claw me and get out of my arms...I even had one paw on each side of my neck as if he were hugging me and all he did was lick my chin.

My mom later said she'd never seen anything like that being done with a wild animal like Alex.

About a month later, Mom got a call from Dave, telling her Alex had died. I was the last person to ever touch him.

I was proud. Proud that I knew Alex loved me. Proud that I knew I had had a real connection with that animal. Proud that I had proof that animals had souls and knew what they wanted. Proud that Alex had chosen me out of the many people in his life. Proud that God had chosen to give me the best kind of love I'd ever know.

I really do believe I have a special connection to all animals. I mean, it's not every day that cats come up to you on the street and jump into your arms...not every day you see a rabbit hugging a person...not every day you see a girl standing under a tree calling soothing things up to a cat as if it could understand what she were saying (and that for an hour straight)...

Or maybe it's just my love for animals that gives me the ability to think I have a connection with them.

I dunno. You tell me.

--Cassy [Misses Alex and Sammy]

Acting

I guess it was last month...towards the end of November...that I started thinking about my choice of career. I mean, I love the thought of Psychology and it'd be awesome to do it and everything...I mean, just the studying sounds exciting to me, but there's this nagging little voice in the back of my head that keeps saying 'You want to be in a movie'. I mean, sure, I suppose every child wants to be famous when they're young...and some of them even make it onto the big screen...but I never was cut out for it.

The one time I was in a professional play (if you can call a church performance 'professional') was when I was 7 (I think...) and I couldn't sing during the whole damn thing because I had a cold. I was standing there on the stage, flapping my arms along to the movements I'd learned and hackign my brains out every five seconds while my partner was trying to sing...I finished the play, sure (I -unfortunately- still have the videotape from that night...horrible memory, really...), but It was really bad acting.

Then, another performance was when I was 11 and in the 6th grade. Instead of assigning oral reports, our language arts teacher decided to have a play instead. I didn't hack this time -thank GOD-, but I couldn't laugh and fall out of my chair...I was too embarassed. But I did end up having to sign karaoke in front of the entire 6th grade...mortifying. Seriously, I can't sing and I don't know why people insist on telling me that I can...I recored songs sometimes, and I sound awful on every one of them...

But anyway, back to the point...

I do love acting. It's fun, you can be someone you're not, you get to wear awesome costumes, and best of all: you meet a lot of amazing people. I mean...I watch the extras of DVDs all the time, and on most of them, there's a section called 'Behind the Scenes of so and so'. I watch them all and hear how people talk about their time on set and see what happens in the camera down-time...and I'm amazed. It all looks so fun and cool and family-like.

I have a huge family and I absolutely love it. I love my cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, in-laws...everyone. I love the get-togethers, the holidays, the stories, jokes, the all-around good times we all have together. And being on set with a bunch of people you have to work with...that's like one huge, everlasting family get-together to me. I mean, really. You get to work with the people you hang out with. What could be better?

And, I confess, there are celebrities I'd love to work with...Jared Leto, Bruce Willis, Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, Steven Strait, Kelly Preston, Juliette Binoche, Judi Dench...all amazing actors and actresses and I'd love the experience of working with them. I guess I'd just have to start acting somewhere and get discovered. Right...I'll tell you if anything like that comes up, shall I?

-.-'

--Cassy

First post...whoo.../Some thoughts...

Well, I can guarantee you that I will not write in this everyday...It's just not something I do. For some reason, I can never keep writing in a diary, online blog, bulletin...whatever. I must've tried like a million times already, but I've never gotten very far. In fact, the farthest I've ever gotten with something like that is probably the diary Phoebe (my sister) bought me 2 (3?) years ago in King of Prussia...It's a pretty journal, red velvet material bind, lined pages, brown and cute. Plain, which I like. I should...I picked it out ^^

Anyway, I wrote in that journal for a long time...I kept bringing it back, and I know exactly where it is, but writing really hurts my hand, so I like typing better...Only nothing interesting ever happens in my life, so I never have anything to write about...and most of the things I want to write end up being too vulgar for other people to see ^.-

I dunno...

Anyway, since I've titled this post already, I guess I shoudl tell you what it's about...haha. I have a friend (best friend, you could say...you could, you don't have to...rofl) and this friend, Eric, is his name, likes to share his playlist with me...Well, he gave me this awesome, sick song...('Fer Sure'-The Medic Droid--check it out!!) and ever since I got into the song (I listen to songs over and over and over, burning them into my head...I'm weird like that), I've been asking myself what my family would think of me if they ever heard it (it's not a family song...trust me, you wouldn't want your kids listening to this stuff...).

I mean, I haven't seen my family in a couple of years. I've seen my grandparents every summer, but it's not the same...I mean, around my family I'm a completely different person. My parents have to live with me, so of course they know things my friends might not know about me, but my friends probably know other things my parents don't, because, all in all, they do spend more time with me, with school and all...and my family knows me as a COMPLETELY different person.

I mean, they knew me as a small child...They know embarrassing stories, cute little nicknames, they have pictures and memories and attributes....It's not pretty...haha. Around my family, I can be just about anything. I can be good, I can be bad (seldom, but it happens), I can be mischievous, mature, childish, ignorant, indifferent, enthusiastic...They know the really deep stuff...The history, my natural hair color (ihehe, ^.-) and, if you know my history with staying in one place for a longer period of time, they know how it's affected me.

I mean...if my friends and my family were to ever be in one place at the same time with me...I'd have an emotional breakdown...I wouldn't know how to act. I'd like to say I can be the same around my family as I would be around my friends, but the truth of it all is that I can't. Not even close. I'm totally different around my friends. I mean, I listen to obscene bands my family would definitely not like (i.e. The Medic Droid, anything Bloodhound Gang, Marilyn Manson, Three Days Grace, Anberlin, Papa Roach, Panic!atD, MEST, Envy on the Coast, J. Holiday, 30 Seconds to Mars...the list goes on), I want a tattoo and some piercings (although, my grandma said she'd love me even after I self-mutilated myself ^.-), I've dyed my hair black (it's now brown, fading back to blonde xP), not to mention I'm one of the pickiest eaters I know...I hate steak, most pork, turkey, goose, lamb, beef...basically anything except chicken and certain kinds of white meat, I won't eat fish (although I have, just because I wouldn't dare tell my aunt I don't want to eat a meal of hers...-yikes!-)

Well...I have to go now...I have to sleep sometime (for those of you new to the likes of me: I live in Austria [NOT AUSTRALIA!!!] and, from the East Coast of America, I am 6 hours different. (GMT +1) and it's 10 o'clock at night...and Ley just left D-'X

Rofl

--Cassy [or Chloe...it really couldn't matter less...]