...I did it.

...I have an audition. For a movie....

Not like a really big movie or anything, really just a school production movie, but it's for business management class and it's going to be shown in a theater.

It's a drama about a girl who's having trouble with school (go figure) and life in general and there's a dramatic ending and blah, blah, blah...

But anyway, I signed up for the audition and me and four of my friends are going to act out a scene (that I have yet to write). Our scene is gonna be two mothers, a 13 year old girl and a 17 year old boy, all fighting over the relationship between the two kids. I (mother of the 17 year old) am ok with the children's relationship and am arguing with the girl's mother (Petra) because she doesn't want her daughter going out with a guy who is 4 years older than her.

The kids come in and the girl starts yelling at her mother because she wants to be with the boy and the boy yells at his mother for getting involved in his private life. Finally, the teens run away and get found by a streetworker, who brings them back and everyone ends up crying, because the mothers ust wanted their children to be safe and I'm thinking the girl's mother will give in and let them be together.

So anyway, I have to pack all that up into 2 and a half minutes...Everyone has to speak and it's gotta be in german. Joy. I have a lot of work to do. Not to mention we have to rehearse it and the audition is on the 4th. So, I don't have much time...

Anyway, that's basically the only really big update I have...but I haven't written in a while, so I might as well make this post a bit longer.

I was talking to my mom today as we were walking across the street to the store about pets. Our dog, Benji, died on November 9th last year (he was put to sleep, something I still haven't gotten over...not even close) and part of the reason we had to do it was because he bit my stepdad's hand, but the other part was because when we left him alone during the day in our apartment, he would just continually bark and bark, which was upsetting the other residents of our building.

So, there's this doctor that lives right under us and apparently, Benji's barking was messing his home life up, because he was trying to sleep or something, which I can understand. Anyway, he was the biggest complainer of everyone. So today, as we were walking out of the courtyard and onto the street, we see his daughter walking a dog they had just gotten. Of course, neither my mother nor I can wait for it to start barking (and it will) so we can complain (aren't we just lovely)...

Anyway, back to the point. We saw the dog and of course, I, not being over losing Benji, said, "I want a pet." To which my mother responds, "Give me a couple of months. I don't want another pet just yet." We'd talked about another pet before and she'd said something about birds being the only pet she'd want, so I said, "But I don't want a bird." So she goes, "We don't have to get a bird. But I definitely don't want another dog, and I'm not really all that fond of cats..." So I replied, "What about a rabbit?" She gave me the standard, "I don't know, Chloe," answer and I said, "But I do not want a fish." She agreed and I said, "Maybe a hamster..." And she said, "We'll talk about it. Just give me a couple months."

So, I might be getting a bunny soon. xDD

I don't know if I told you all (I probably haven't), but I used to have 2 bunnies. My mom used to be a photographer for LifeTouch, the photo company, and she worked in one of their stores in the Oxford Valley Mall in Pennsylvania. Every once in a while, they'd have "Bunny Day", where people could get their pictures taken with a rabbit. Well, my mom's boss was already caring for four other rabbits, so she gave my mom two (all together there were 6 rabbits)-one for me and one for my sister, Phoebe. That was our Easter present. My bunnies were Easter Bunnies. xDD

Well, their names were Sammy and Alex. Phoebe's rabbit was Sammy, a cute, tame, tan dwarf rabbit who was as calm and gentle as could be. Mine was Alex, a black rabbit with a white spot on his nose and a white ring around his neck. He was the exact opposite of Sammy. He was wild, he thumped his back feet, he ran all over the place, he bit...No one really wanted him around.

But, I have to tell you...Aside from Benji, Alex was my favorite pet ever. The only real reason I think of Benji as number 1 is because I was more attached to him. I had him for 3 years, since he was a puppy, I spent nearly every day of those three years with him...I watched him die...

But Alex was so special to me, you have no idea.

Ok, to understand why Alex was special to me, you'd have to know me in person. But I'll try to clue you in. Ever since I was a little girl, I always loved animals. Like, way too much. I wanted to be a vet until I was 13 years old. The only reason I don't want to now is because I don't want to kill animals...Or hurt them in any way. But when I went to the vet with Benji, I always helped her. Anyway...I love animals. That's clear.

When I have a pet....I give them all of my love. I play with them, I pet them, I just plain love being around them. Not only that, but I talk to them. About everything. If I have a bad day, no matter what animal it is, I can tell them about it. I can't tell you how many times I hugged Benji, Sammy or Alex when I was sad. And it always, no matter what, made me feel better. That's probably why I hate people so much...

But when I said I talk to them, I meant it. I talk to them like real people and I really do believe they talk back in their own way. I dunno...I feel like I can read their minds. And they can understand what I'm saying. I don't know what it is, and I already know I'm crazy, thanks, but I believe it's true.

Alex, like I said before, was wild. Crazy. I mean, off the wall. Male rabbits get territorial. Alex was stronger and more determined, I guess, so he started hurting Sammy, just to show him who was boss, I think. Anyway, he bit a hole in Sammy's stomach. No one would go near him after that, but...I couldn't see the bad in Alex, even though he'd hurt Sammy. I still loved him, I didn't care if he was dangerous and I didn't care if my mother told me not go near him. I told her he wouldn't hurt me.

And he didn't. Never.

Eventually, we did have to give him away. We gave him to a colleague of my mom's, Dave, and I only ever saw him once after that.

And now comes the best part of my life. Dave let Alex run around his house freely. He didn't make him stay in a cage, like he was supposed to (he ended up having to replace a couple wires for his computer...Alex gnawed through them.), and because of that, he could never catch him. The one and only time I ever visited Dave's place to see Alex was the first and only time Alex was caught in that house. Dave and my mom were talking in the kitchen about him and when I walked in with Alex in my arms, they both stopped talking. It was so great. Alex was behaving, wasn't trying to bite me, wasn't trying to claw me and get out of my arms...I even had one paw on each side of my neck as if he were hugging me and all he did was lick my chin.

My mom later said she'd never seen anything like that being done with a wild animal like Alex.

About a month later, Mom got a call from Dave, telling her Alex had died. I was the last person to ever touch him.

I was proud. Proud that I knew Alex loved me. Proud that I knew I had had a real connection with that animal. Proud that I had proof that animals had souls and knew what they wanted. Proud that Alex had chosen me out of the many people in his life. Proud that God had chosen to give me the best kind of love I'd ever know.

I really do believe I have a special connection to all animals. I mean, it's not every day that cats come up to you on the street and jump into your arms...not every day you see a rabbit hugging a person...not every day you see a girl standing under a tree calling soothing things up to a cat as if it could understand what she were saying (and that for an hour straight)...

Or maybe it's just my love for animals that gives me the ability to think I have a connection with them.

I dunno. You tell me.

--Cassy [Misses Alex and Sammy]